Research: Do men and women really think differently about sex?

Do men really think so differently about sex than women? That's always blindly assumed, but science paints a completely different picture.

To dispel some preconceptions, or perhaps even confirm them, we delved into a number of studies and research. And they offer some interesting insights.

Do men think about sex more often than women?

It is always said that men think about sex more than women, but research It turns out that these differences are quite small. According to the study, men think about sex an average of eight times a day, compared to about six times for women. The researchers conclude from this that the desire for sex is virtually the same.

In another study, this difference was even greater. This difference was particularly noticeable among women who displayed socially acceptable behavior. The study hypothesized that women may be more reluctant to admit their sexual thoughts, perhaps because of the double standards we still face. to deal .

Do men have more sexual partners than women?

Some heterosexual men tend to brag about how many partners they've had. Heterosexual women seem rather modest about it. This has long puzzled researchers, because if men have so much more sex, who are they talking to?

Here's the thing: Studies suggest that men exaggerate their number of sexual partners in surveys, often because they don't remember it completely. Women remember it better and therefore share more honest figures.

Who is more selective about sexual partners?

When it comes to a short term partner or just casual When it comes to sex, women are somewhat more selective than men. Men tend to seek more sexual variety than women. They strive for a greater number of partners and are more likely to consent to sex than women.

Women also look for a man who meets their standards, even in the short term. It does appear, however, that they are more selective when approached by a man. When they're themselves on the flirting trail, they're somewhat less so.

What about sexual fantasies?

In 2016 it emerged research that men are more interested in a threesome and are more likely to suggest a threesome to their partner. Also from another research It turned out that twice as many men as women would like to have a threesome. Both studies showed that men do prefer sex with two women, while women are more likely to choose two men.

According to one of the two studies, the fact that women seem less interested in threesomes could be due to women being more concerned about their reputation. A 2009 study suggests this isn't surprising either. Women are still judged much more harshly than men for having threesomes—and for their sexuality in general.

Despite women preferring a threesome with two men, both heterosexual and lesbian women in the study were equally aroused by watching male-female, male-male, and female-female porn. This doesn't necessarily mean women are inherently bisexual. However, women's attraction is more fluid than men's.

The influence of low libido on men and women

Experiencing periods of low libido isn't unusual at all, and it happens to both men and women. It's even more common in men than many people realize. Surveys have shown that approximately 15 to 20 percent of men have experienced a lower libido at some point. This was often due to a medical condition or stress at work, for example.

Women also experience a lower libido from time to time. Women who accept that this is simply a part of life don't have as many problems with it or seek help. Women who try to maintain a balanced life and also believe their libido should be more or less constant experience more problems and are hesitant to seek help.

Shame

While occasional sex is perfectly normal, a lower libido in one partner can still cause some problems. There's still a perception that men are always in the mood for sex, and men who don't are often ashamed of it.

Women sometimes see this as a problem, too. They feel rejected, while in fact, a lower libido in men is almost never because they no longer find their wife attractive. It's almost always related to stress or other issues.

What's striking, however, is that when a man desires sex less, it doesn't directly affect how satisfied both partners are with the relationship. However, if the woman has less desire for sex, her satisfaction also decreases, even if they have the same amount of sexual contact as before.

Conclusion

So, while there is a difference in how men and women think about sex, various studies show that their desire for it is roughly the same. Yet, due to social norms and prejudices, women still don't dare to fully open up about it. And that really needs to change in 2023.

Also important: talking about sex. Especially if you have a steady partner. This way, you can share your desires and insecurities. Only this way can we break down taboos, and by being vulnerable, you'll only grow closer. It's likely to be better for the long run.