Are your sexual fantasies normal? Science has the answer.
Do you ever find yourself thinking about a spicy session between the sheets with your neighbor?
Or do you slide off your couch while reading a chapter from Fifty Shades of Grey ? No worries, everyone has sexual fantasies. Moreover, these fantasies are the driving force for a smooth sex life and therefore not bad at all.
Psychologist Justin Lehmiller conducted research for his book Tell Me What You Want , in which he interviewed more than 4,000 people about their sex lives. This makes his study the largest on sexual fantasies in the United States.
The most common sexual fantasies
We've summarized the book into a top 5 sexual fantasies. No, you're not alone.
1. Trio
The golden oldie among sexual fantasies: a threesome. Not only a favorite among men, but also a wild dream among women. In Lehmiller's study, a whopping 89% of respondents said they fantasize about a "ménage a trois." Even those who are happy with a partner would like to involve someone. Incidentally, straight men indicated that they would prefer to share a bed with two women. And the straight women? They didn't immediately indicate a gender. Ooh la la...
2. Fifty Shades of Grey
Did you also get red ears when you read or saw Fifty Shades of Grey ? You're not alone. 65% of respondents said they fantasize about spanking, biting, or using hot wax during intercourse. Women were more likely to report being aroused by a partner who has complete control, while men were more likely to be aroused by a specific BDSM activity.
3. In a public place
The research shows that many women fantasize about having sex in public. A session in nature, at work, or in an elevator are described as prime locations. The thrill of getting caught is especially arousing. So… what's your favorite spot for a wild romp?
4. Meaningful sex
It doesn't all have to be wild, in crazy places, or with props. Meaningful sex also scores high in sexual fantasies. The majority of men and women in this study indicated they fantasize about lovemaking that connects. This way, they feel more loved and important.
5. Same-sex sex
Although the majority of respondents were straight, a significant number admitted to having sex with someone of the same sex. So, have you ever had a hot dream about kissing your best friend? It's not that crazy.
59% of the heterosexual women in this study said they'd thought about other women. And 26% of the men have thought about it with another man. Also, 25% of the men would like to have a wild night with a transvestite, and 33% with a transsexual.
So, fantasizing about outdoor sex or with that sexy ex doesn't have to be a bad thing. It actually boosts your endorphins when you acknowledge it and respond (provided it's convenient, of course). Ultimately, it leads to less stress, making you feel more relaxed and happier. It can also make you more aroused when you're with your partner. A win-win situation!
